All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
