I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
