do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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