Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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