Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
