dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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