hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
