i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
