if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
