He asked to "fluff my boner.."
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize