cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
