my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
