And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
