I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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