My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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