there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
