I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
