Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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