I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
