Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
