if i died would you start the facebook group?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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