I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
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when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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