That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
