Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
