i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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