Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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I need you to use more vowels.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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