I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize