she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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