I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
