I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
