I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
