i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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