I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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