I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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