i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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