I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
meet me or not, i'm out of control
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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