big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
