I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
