508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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