I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
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