dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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