and you said cock pushups were impossible
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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