Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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