The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
