I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
