And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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