one two three fourrrrnication!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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