people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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