Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
