Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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