We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
