he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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