Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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