I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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