My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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