Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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