my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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