her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
