Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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