Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
