That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
