Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize