Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize